Hey, it’s me back again.
I almost thought I had lost this blog forever as with each wrong password and “Your email is not registered with us. Try again”, my heart sank deeper and deeper. But thankfully for autofill or something, I managed to find my email address.
Work has been crazy. School has been hectic. Or should it be the other way around?
Either way, I am at the point in my Life where I am genuinely unhappy about my personal state. I do not know if I am truly happy anymore. I am starting to feel the passion leak away. I would like to feel more excitement in my Life.
All the promises I have made to myself are LIES. Where are my holidays? Where are my returns? I just feel that youth, love and happiness are constantly draining out of me. It never used to be so hard.
I miss feeling fit as a rock. or pebble, whatever. I miss my strength and stamina. I miss believing in something and I miss having fun. I also miss my belly piercing. In fact, I remember H was the push factor for me to finally get it done. However, lotsa bad stuff happened and I took it out. Also, it didn’t heal well. Since then, I have probably put on 6kg-8kg. I doubt getting my belly piercing now would be attractive.
I really miss my toned arms and thighs with faint abs. They were the sign of discipline, sweat and hard work. Now my body just shows out of control. I don’t feel good about myself.
And I really wish to have a good guy in my arms. One who is strong, fun and crazy about me. It’s really hard to meet guys as one gets older. Either they’re attached or they aren’t interested? Lol, story of Life.
Well, I really need to focusing more on myself and start taking chances. Meeting people and having fun. To think of it, I haven’t done up my 2012 New Year Resolutions. Will do so it in my next post.